{"id":1049,"date":"2018-01-19T19:24:15","date_gmt":"2018-01-20T01:24:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?p=1049"},"modified":"2018-06-10T12:52:12","modified_gmt":"2018-06-10T17:52:12","slug":"waterman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/01\/19\/waterman\/","title":{"rendered":"Waterman"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Me: What does a milkman bring?<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Milk<\/p>\n<p>Me: What does a mailman bring?<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Mail<\/p>\n<p>Me: What does a fireman bring?<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Um<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Fire supplies!<\/p>\n<p>Me: What kind of supplies?<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Um. Hmm. Ah! Water!<\/p>\n<p>Me: So we should call him a &#8216;waterman&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>Grandboy: Yes! We&#8217;ll call the waterman in case of fire, because the fireman will bring fire and burn down the house!<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;-<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ll save the discussion about &#8216;garbageman&#8217; for another day<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Me: What does a milkman bring? Grandboy: Milk Me: What does a mailman bring? Grandboy: Mail Me: What does&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1049","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s62ahB-waterman","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1426,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/01\/25\/youre-fired\/","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":0},"title":"You&#8217;re fired","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: The word, \"fire\" is an odd word. Grandboy: Why is that, grandpa? Me: Well, \"fire\" can burn something, and you can \"fire\" a weapon, and a boss can \"fire\" a person. Same word but they have different meanings. Grandboy (thinking) Grandboy: No, they come from the same thing. A\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1523,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2021\/03\/13\/saved-by-the-firebell\/","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":1},"title":"Saved by the firebell","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 13, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"We are enjoying the bonfire.\u00a0 The grandboy comes walking over with a smoldering piece of wood. Grandboy: Grandpa, we're both lucky. Me: Oh yah? Why is that? Grandboy (with a look of suspicion on his face): Well, this is the SECOND time I've rescued my hammer and battle rifle from\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Screenshot_20210313-084516-1.png?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":887,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/18\/bringin-home-the-bacon-woman\/","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":2},"title":"Bringin&#8217; home the bacon, woman","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 18, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (pretending to carry a briefcase): Bye mom, I'm going to work now. Mamasan: Bye! Bring home the bacon. Grandboy (confused): No mom, I'm not going to the STORE. I'm going to WORK. Mamasan: O that's what you say when someone goes to work. \"Bring home the bacon\". Grandboy: OOH\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/09\/26\/irish-wristwatch\/","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":3},"title":"Irish wristwatch","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: Say the word \"wristwatch\" Grandboy: Wristwatch. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Ok. Now say the word, \"Irish\" Grandboy: Irish. Me: Ok, say it a couple of times again Grandboy (repeats it) Me: Good. Grandboy: Why did you want me to say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":998,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/09\/30\/diplomacy-taught\/","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":4},"title":"Diplomacy taught","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: I'm the king of this land Me: Ah I see. How do you treat your people? Grandboy: I am STRONG. If they don't do what I say I lock them UP. Maybe forever. And punish them. Me: That sounds like a bad king. I'll have to stop you if\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1043,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/12\/02\/never-was-heard-an-encouraging-word\/","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":5},"title":"Never was heard an encouraging word","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 2, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa look I'm on the roof. Me: Yes, I see. We both are. Grandboy (walking towards the edge): I won't DIE if I fall off, will I, Gwumpa? Me: You might. Grandboy: What?!? You LET me on the ROOF if I might DIE!!! Me: Yep. Grandboy: Now I'm scared.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1049","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1049"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1049\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1050,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1049\/revisions\/1050"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1049"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1049"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1049"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}