Grandboy: Gwumpa look I’m on the roof.<\/p>\n
Me: Yes, I see. We both are.<\/p>\n
Grandboy (walking towards the edge): I won’t DIE if I fall off, will I, Gwumpa?<\/p>\n
Me: You might.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: What?!? You LET me on the ROOF if I might DIE!!!<\/p>\n
Me: Yep.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Now I’m scared.<\/p>\n
Me: Don’t be scared. Be careful. Learn the difference and you’ll be ok.<\/p>\n
(Later, on the way down the ladder)<\/p>\n
Grandboy: Gwumpa sing an encouraging song so I can be careful coming down.<\/p>\n
Me (in a deep baritone): DON’T fall DOWN. If you FALL you will DIE. DON’T slip your FOOT… you will TUMBLE DOWN and FALL<\/p>\n
Grandboy: GWUMPA. That’s NOT ENCOURAGING.<\/p>\n
Me: Yah it is. It’s encouraging you not to slip and fall off the ladder. See? You’re on the ground already.<\/p>\n
Grandboy: AWESOME I’M GOING IN THE HOUSE TO CALL MOM AND TELL HER I WAS ON THE ROOF<\/p>\n
Me: Good thing I got clearance ahead of time…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: Gwumpa look I’m on the roof. Me: Yes, I see. We both are. Grandboy (walking towards the edge):…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-gP","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":758,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/04\/03\/no-thanks-gwumpa\/","url_meta":{"origin":1043,"position":0},"title":"No thanks, Gwumpa","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"April 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a game where double-jumping is vital to success): Uhhh Gwumpa help me Me: You have to keep trying to learn how to get past this area. Jumping is as important as fighting. Grandboy (falling again): AAAUGH hmmm Me: Here, let me try Grandboy: Yah! I can learn from\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":961,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/06\/25\/nothing-but-the-tooth-so-help-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":1043,"position":1},"title":"Nothing but the tooth, so help me","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa I have a loose tooth. LOOK Me: I see. (looks) Grandboy: The tooth fairy, she's gonna come and take the tooth when it comes out and put it in the WALL of the TOOTH CASTLE she lives in. Me: After it comes out and not before? Maybe she\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":852,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/11\/26\/hug-every-moment\/","url_meta":{"origin":1043,"position":2},"title":"Hug every moment","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Gwumpa, you're not going to die for a looooong time, right, gwumpa? Me: I don't know that. Grandboy: What? You don't know you'll live a long time? Me: Nope. I might live a looooong time, I might live a short time. I might die this afternoon. You never know\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1000,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/01\/know-thine-enemy\/","url_meta":{"origin":1043,"position":3},"title":"Know thine enemy","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can't eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it's quiet. Grandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who's our enemy, gwumpa? Me: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today. Grandboy: Zombies\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":794,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/07\/04\/words-can-kill\/","url_meta":{"origin":1043,"position":4},"title":"Words can kill","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 4, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (coming in to cuddle with me on my temporary cot bed**): Wow Gwumpa this sure is smaller than your real bed. Me (snoozily): Yep. Grandboy: But it's very CUTE Me: Yep. Here I scooted over for you. Grandboy (climbing over every one of my body parts): There's no room\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1479,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/11\/29\/sometimes-im-scared-of-things\/","url_meta":{"origin":1043,"position":5},"title":"Sometimes I’m scared of things","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 29, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Sometimes I'm scared of things. Me: Like what? Grandboy: I don't like to say their names, because, you know, I'll start worrying about them. Me: It's ok. I'm scared of things too. Grandboy: REALLY? Like what.. o you probably don't want to say. 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