Grandboy (spots something outside the back truck window): Hey gwumpa there’s a snail holding onto your window.
\nMe (looks back): Ayep, sure is.
\nGrandboy: He sure likes it back there.
\nMe (driving): Ayep.
\nGrandboy: Because you’re a safe driver. Huh, gwumpa? He feels SAFE with you driving us around.
\nMe: …
\nGrandboy: Sooo… what if your WHOLE BACK WINDOW was covered with SNAILS gwumpa?
\nMe (thinking, “ewwwww”): The whole back window?
\nGrandboy: Yah! That means his whole family wanted to ride and he said it’s ok because you’re a SAFE DRIVER.
\n—-
\nJust goes to show you that one man’s slimy vehicle is another creature’s safe haven :p<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy (spots something outside the back truck window): Hey gwumpa there’s a snail holding onto your window. Me (looks…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-gc","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1055,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/02\/17\/lets-have-dearie-over-for-dinner\/","url_meta":{"origin":1004,"position":0},"title":"Let’s have dearie over for dinner","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"February 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(Watching nature show) Grandboy: Gwumpa that wolf is going to kill that baby deer. Me: Ayep Grandboy: Go baby deer go Me: O no now the cute baby wolf cub will die. It hasn't eaten in weeks and needs food. Grandboy: Oh Me: No wait, the wolf is catching up!\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1159,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/09\/03\/walk-the-dinosaur\/","url_meta":{"origin":1004,"position":1},"title":"Walk the dinosaur","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"September 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing a video game where he can ride a dinosaur): Grandpa, dinosaurs were a long time ago, right? Me: Yep. Long time ago. Grandboy: I feel like, if I would have been born in the 80s I might have seen dinosaurs then, right, grandpa? Me: Ayep may have been.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/zYKupOsaJmk\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1089,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/05\/19\/its-nighttime\/","url_meta":{"origin":1004,"position":2},"title":"It’s NIGHTTIME","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"May 19, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa whatcha doin'? Me: Resting my head in the table. Grandboy: Why? Me: I'm just a little tired, that's all Grandboy (sounding like his mamasan): GWUMPA you need to REST. Your body needs REST. Go back to bed. Me: ... Grandboy: Hey Gwumpa, I can't believe I'm saying\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":508,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/06\/20\/monkeys-and-cars\/","url_meta":{"origin":1004,"position":3},"title":"Monkeys and cars","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"June 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Those people, they, they all driving cars. Me: Yep, they are all driving cars. Grandboy: Why they driving cars? Me:\u00a0 Dunno.\u00a0 Maybe they are getting food or going to work or seeing friends. Grandboy: Monkeys don't drive cars. Me: Nope.\u00a0 Monkeys don't drive cars.\u00a0 Why not? Grandboy: Cuz they\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/8598179934_4e69fccd06_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C678&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":869,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/01\/21\/pretending-to-play\/","url_meta":{"origin":1004,"position":4},"title":"Pretending to play","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"January 21, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: [cleaning] Grandboy: Gwumpa i'm driving my car to your shop. You can fix it for me? Me: I can't sorry, I'm cleaning things right now. Grandboy: it's PRETEND Me: [looking over at pretend car] Sorry, I can't play pretend. i need to get this stuff cleaned up before the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":833,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2016\/10\/22\/and-so-it-begins-again\/","url_meta":{"origin":1004,"position":5},"title":"…and so it begins, again","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 22, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (Exasperated, looking out the window): Gwumpa why is the sun not up? Me: Dunno Grandboy: It's 6:02. 6:02 gwumpa. (Looks out the window again) Sun is STILL not up. You said I can climb up in the attic in the morning. It's morning. And chocolate ice cream for breakfast.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1004"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1005,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004\/revisions\/1005"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}