Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can’t eat.
\nMe: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when it’s quiet.
\nGrandboy: (through muffled bites of pancake): Who’s our enemy, gwumpa?
\nMe: Zombies. And people who would hurt us. (Opens the blinds) But looks like no zombies today.
\nGrandboy: Zombies aren’t real, are they gwumpa?
\nMe: Nah. Just pretend.
\nGrandboy (looks outside): I’ll be back. It’s nice outside.
\nMe: Ok. Listen for things. You might even hear birds out there.
\nGrandboy: Birds aren’t our enemy, are they gwumpa?
\nMe: Nah.
\nGrandboy: Ok gwumpa.
\nMe: Unless they are zombies.
\nGrandboy: GWUMPA<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Grandboy: Too quiet in here. I can’t eat. Me: Quiet is good. You can hear your enemies come when…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p62ahB-g8","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1479,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/11\/29\/sometimes-im-scared-of-things\/","url_meta":{"origin":1000,"position":0},"title":"Sometimes I’m scared of things","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"November 29, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Sometimes I'm scared of things. Me: Like what? Grandboy: I don't like to say their names, because, you know, I'll start worrying about them. Me: It's ok. I'm scared of things too. Grandboy: REALLY? Like what.. o you probably don't want to say. Me: It's ok I can say\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1488,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/12\/23\/nightmares\/","url_meta":{"origin":1000,"position":1},"title":"Nightmares","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 23, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy: Grandpa I had a really bad nightmare last night Me (preparing for a tale of zombies and monsters): O no. Would you like to talk about it? Grandboy: Yah. I dreamt I logged onto my game and all the high level people I worked so hard for had vanished.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1004,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2017\/10\/18\/driving-at-a-snails-pace\/","url_meta":{"origin":1000,"position":2},"title":"Driving at a snail’s pace","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"October 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (spots something outside the back truck window): Hey gwumpa there's a snail holding onto your window. Me (looks back): Ayep, sure is. Grandboy: He sure likes it back there. Me (driving): Ayep. Grandboy: Because you're a safe driver. Huh, gwumpa? He feels SAFE with you driving us around. Me:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1065,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2018\/03\/06\/gwumpa-is-always-shouting\/","url_meta":{"origin":1000,"position":3},"title":"Gwumpa is always shouting","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"March 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Me: O hey please stop touching the walls. I just had them painted. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa. Me: Ok stop touching the walls. Your hands are greasy and I'm trying to keep the new paint clean. Grandboy: Ok Gwumpa, sorry. Me: No, really, STOP TOUCHING THE WALLS when you walk past\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1486,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2020\/12\/20\/rushing-in-unprepared\/","url_meta":{"origin":1000,"position":4},"title":"Rushing in unprepared","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"December 20, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (playing Plants vs Zombies): Grandpa I learned that it's sometimes not a good idea to go rushing into the area. I did that when I was younger and got killed. So now I look around before going in. Me: Sounds like real life, boy. Grandboy: What? O yah like\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":534,"url":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/2015\/07\/03\/superman-and-the-magical-dolphin\/","url_meta":{"origin":1000,"position":5},"title":"Superman and the magical dolphin","author":"Gwumpa Stories","date":"July 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Grandboy (holding up some legos pressed together): What is this? Me: Ummm, ah. It's a magical dolphin. Grandboy: NO gwumpa it's a piece. For a CAR. Me: Ok. Grandboy (holding the Piece. For a CAR up again): Gwumpa what is this? Me: Ummm, ah. It's a magical dolphin. Grandboy (distraught)\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/2563464746_0b61c03e95_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C677&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/2563464746_0b61c03e95_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C677&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/2563464746_0b61c03e95_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C677&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/2563464746_0b61c03e95_b1.jpg?fit=1024%2C677&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1000"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1000\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1001,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1000\/revisions\/1001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}