{"id":776,"date":"2016-05-30T09:24:09","date_gmt":"2016-05-30T14:24:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/?page_id=776"},"modified":"2016-05-30T11:07:05","modified_gmt":"2016-05-30T16:07:05","slug":"lets-start-at-the-beginning","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.monkeyinfinitum.com\/gwumpastories\/lets-start-at-the-beginning\/","title":{"rendered":"Let’s Start at the Beginning…"},"content":{"rendered":"
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He has yet to learn how to shout “Goooooaaaaaallllllllll”, but he’s got the “gaaaaa” part down<\/b>
November 28, 2011<\/i>

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Jingle bells<\/b>
February 7, 2012<\/i>

For weeks I thought the little jingling noise in the back of my head when I walked from my truck to my office was due to a loose wire in my head.<\/p>\n

No, it turns out I had stuffed my grandson’s toy in my backpack and had forgotten it was there.<\/p>\n

Now I might still have a loose wire in my head but that isn’t the cause for jingle jingle jingle jingle…<\/p>\n
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Rock on baby boy<\/b>
April 23, 2012<\/i>

This weekend I learned that my grandson likes classical music.<\/p>\n

Baroque, to be precise.<\/p>\n

Vivaldi, to be even more precise.<\/p>\n

Rock on baby boy<\/p>\n
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Important things are important<\/b>
May 29, 2012<\/i>

I hugged my grandson just now and got boogers all over my shirt collar. That’s ok, because the important thing was that i hugged my grandson.<\/p>\n

Thanking God for the little things that are huge in reality<\/p>\n
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Again with the bucket<\/b>
June 9, 2012<\/i>

Today, we play the “there’s a bucket on my head” song and dance routine. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The puppy was amused<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Fun game<\/b>
July 27, 2012<\/i>

My grandson and i are playing a game where he touches things and i keep him from tearing them apart.<\/p>\n

So far it’s keeping both of us busy and out of trouble.<\/p>\n
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Dog and Bucketfly<\/b>
September 23, 2012<\/i>

Dog and Bucketfly <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It’s a 70s thing<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Dum deee dum, o, a box.<\/b>
November 12, 2012<\/i>

Dr’s office. Bored. Box. What else would we expect to do?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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All in a row<\/b>
November 17, 2012<\/i>

The boy seems to have inherited some organisational skills. Not a bad thing really<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Howdy, mate. And g’day<\/b>
November 19, 2012<\/i>

Howdy, mate. And g’day<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam<\/b>
December 3, 2012<\/i>

Grandpa lets me hit those pan things with those spoon things. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It’s loud and fun until mom comes back inside<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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What did you do?<\/b>
January 7, 2013<\/i>

…one of the grandson’s first clear phrases he’s learned to say? “Uh-oh, what did you DO?” Yes, he’s a very active lad.<\/p>\n
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Hey it works for the boy, why not my 12-piece chicken and sides order?<\/b>
January 20, 2013<\/i>

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Work work work work<\/b>
February 4, 2013<\/i>

“well, i don’t know, chuck, that sounds like a lot of work…”<\/p>\n

“hey then it’s a good thing that working is something we love to do!”<\/p>\n

gotta love “Chuck & Friends”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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You know you’re a grandpa when you find this kind of stuff in your coat pocket<\/b>
February 19, 2013<\/i>

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Everything’s in motion all of the time<\/b>
February 24, 2013<\/i>

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Slow children are ok<\/b>
February 24, 2013<\/i>

Slow children are ok.
\nIt’s not the slow children that worry me; it’s the small, quick ones that are likely to pop out from behind a parked car as I drive that worry me<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Coloring book caravan<\/b>
March 16, 2013<\/i>

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Gov’t budgeting 101<\/b>
March 23, 2013<\/i>

O dear, I believe I’ve taught my grandson the primary rule of gov’t budgeting… Instead of using less, find reasons to get more. \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n

We’ve taught him to wipe off the crayon marks he puts on the fridge. He uses a spray bottle of water. These are special easy clean crayons.<\/p>\n

He likes cleaning so much that now he’s marking everything so he can use the bottle.<\/p>\n

We’ve had a talk about that and now he knows it’s ok to clean just for the fun of it, without having to use the crayons as part of the process \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
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What did you say?<\/b>
March 23, 2013<\/i>

I learned that when the grandson says ‘choochoocar’ he means, ‘train engine’ but when he says ‘peepeecar’ he means ‘crayon”<\/p>\n

Language is a funny thing<\/p>\n
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he was there looking so cute just a second ago<\/b>
March 31, 2013<\/i>

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Where did THAT come from?<\/b>
May 11, 2013<\/i>

Saturday morning. I’m working on my project which is due on Monday morning in Austin.<\/p>\n

The grandson is nearby, playing with his armada of cars, arranging and rearranging them in neat lines in what i presume are strategic positions.<\/p>\n

He stands back, critiques the scenario, and makes slight adjustments to the ranks as he sees fit. Then he maneuvers the cars and sometimes crashes them into each other. But not always, just sometimes, and only under certain (unknown to me) conditions.<\/p>\n

He’s jabbering away to himself, occasionally giving orders to the drivers in the cars using whatever magical language it is he speaks these days. I hear his playing punctuated by the occasional “boom”, “waah”, “uh oh”, and “you ok?” now and again.<\/p>\n

Suddenly out of seemingly nowhere, he DJ-drops a perfect “Dr Evil” BWAHAHAHA laugh into the mix.<\/p>\n

I don’t know whether or not to be impressed or scared. Probably a little of both.<\/p>\n
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One of the few<\/b>
May 12, 2013<\/i>

Awww how sweet. Grandson gave me a kiss before his noontime nap.<\/p>\n

O wait, now he’s kissing the dog, his toys, and his tonka truck.<\/p>\n

So it’s not an exclusive club I’m in, haha<\/p>\n
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found in my shower today<\/b>
June 7, 2013<\/i>

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time out if you misbehave. or if you’ve lost those pair of shoes<\/b>
June 7, 2013<\/i>

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he he he i’ll try this one at home<\/b>
June 9, 2013<\/i>

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Spidurrrr<\/b>
September 29, 2013<\/i>

Teaching the littleun about yardwork and coffee breaks. And spiders.<\/p>\n

“Spidurrrr!!” cries he.<\/p>\n

“Spider? Oh yah, that’s a spider.”<\/p>\n

“Spidurrrr!!”, he repeats, still unsure of the situation.<\/p>\n

“It’s ok. It won’t get you.”<\/p>\n

“Won’t get youuuu?”<\/p>\n

“No, unless it’s a jumpy spider.”<\/p>\n

“Ohhhhh”<\/p>\n

“Let’s see… what kind IS it? Hmmm.” [we get closer]<\/p>\n

[me]\u00a0“A JUMPY SPIDER!!! AHHHH”<\/p>\n

[he] “Ahhhhhh!!!!1!!”<\/p>\n
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Jump pop pop jump pop<\/b>
November 23, 2013<\/i>

Hard to tell in this pic, but thanks to a mail-order purchase we have about 8 feet of medium-size bubble wrap. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Add a jumpy boy and it’s lots of noisy fun<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Rebel with a clue<\/b>
November 24, 2013<\/i>

Grandson found a new way to defy authority.<\/p>\n

He’s scattered my 8 pieces of bubblewrap film (each about 8 feet long) around the house in what appears to be strategic places.<\/p>\n

Then when he does something he’s not supposed to, and me or his momma go over to stop him, our frustration and parental gravitas is extinguished when we walk (or sometimes run) to where he’s doing his shenanigans.<\/p>\n

“HEY I TOLD YOU NOT (pop pop) to (pop) (giggle) do (pop) (giggle) hey look i can pop too (pop pop pop)”<\/p>\n
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Someone’s not having fun<\/b>
November 28, 2013<\/i>

\"2013-11-28<\/a><\/p>\n
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Keep goin, kid<\/b>
November 28, 2013<\/i>

\"2013-11-28<\/a><\/p>\n
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Someday he may live there, too.<\/b>
December 24, 2013<\/i>

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baby wilson<\/b>
January 14, 2014<\/i>

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One thing lead to another<\/b>
January 26, 2014<\/i>

It is 12:47 pm sunday afternoon and my grandson’s toy truck is broken on the kitchen counter.<\/p>\n

I note this because at around 10:45 this morning i put the broken toy on the counter and turned around to get some super-glue.<\/p>\n

Suddenly it’s two hours later and the guest bathroom is scrubbed, all the tile floor is swept & mopped, area rugs vacuumed, laundry half-done and dishes loaded & dishwasher running.<\/p>\n

It all started because when i turned to get the super-glue i noticed that i needed to clear a spot on the kitchen table to make room for the super-glue mini-project. In doing that i noticed the floor needed sweeping. That led to dishes, which led to…<\/p>\n

And the toy is still not worked on.<\/p>\n

I can see how college house parties can get out of hand very quickly<\/p>\n

#onethingleadtoanother<\/p>\n
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What did he say?<\/b>
February 7, 2014<\/i>

A rabbit?<\/p>\n

A ribbon?<\/p>\n

A robot?<\/p>\n

A ribbet?<\/p>\n

A rivet?<\/p>\n

A reuben?<\/p>\n

A robin?<\/p>\n

A webbing?<\/p>\n

A wedding?<\/p>\n

Still not sure what the grandboy is saying<\/p>\n
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Which one is it?<\/b>
February 16, 2014<\/i>

When grandpa teaches colors:<\/p>\n

“Which one is the blue one? C’mon you know this; someday your life may depend on it”<\/p>\n
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Vote often and vote hard<\/b>
February 22, 2014<\/i>

Showing the littleun how to early vote in the primaries<\/p>\n
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Don’t be scared<\/b>
March 22, 2014<\/i>

The grandboy holds my hand while I use the vacuum cleaner so I won’t be scared<\/p>\n
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Racing snails<\/b>
March 22, 2014<\/i>

To you and me, these look like apple slices. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

To a 3.5 yr old boy these are racing snails.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Racing snails that scream when you chew them…<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Toddle no more<\/b>
March 22, 2014<\/i>

I’ll have to stop referring to the grandboy as a toddler.<\/p>\n

He doesn’t toddle as much as “lunge forward at full speed” nowadays.<\/p>\n
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Guard will save me<\/b>
March 28, 2014<\/i>

I have a picture of a futuristic gladiator hanging by the back entryway.<\/p>\n

The grandson was nervous about it. I assured him by saying it was a guard to stop bad guys from coming in the door.<\/p>\n

So he repeats it back to me, and in his little kid accent it sounds like he’s saying, “God will save me” when he points to this.<\/p>\n

I have to let his momma know what he’s really saying before he freaks her out one of these days and they are sitting at home, alone…<\/p>\n

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Shhh, listen<\/b>
March 28, 2014<\/i>

I listened to a song today from one of my fav music groups, The Gregory Brothers.<\/p>\n

Then I heard my grandson singing as he played with his cars.<\/p>\n

And then I saw and heard this video of a woman hearing sound for the first time in her life.<\/p>\n

I’m going to backtrack and re-listen to the first two again, but with a different perspective. http:\/\/youtu.be\/S7LcNUxcQ8Y<\/a><\/p>\n
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Hugs from our loved ones, even virtual hugs, are the things that keep us going<\/b>
April 3, 2014<\/i>

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Keep an eye out for MONSTERS<\/b>
April 8, 2014<\/i>

Sometimes, on our walks, the grandboy and I play the “Monsters Are Coming” game.<\/p>\n

It’s not what you may think.<\/p>\n

We chase the monsters.<\/p>\n
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Humpty and the 2nd law of thermodynamics<\/b>
April 27, 2014<\/i>

Yes! I have always wondered how to introduce the second law of thermodynamics to my grandson. And here’s how:<\/p>\n

“Humpty Dumpty has been used to demonstrate the second law of thermodynamics.<\/p>\n

The law describes a process known as entropy, a measure of the number of specific ways in which a system may be arranged, often taken to be a measure of “disorder”. The higher the entropy, the higher the disorder.<\/p>\n

After his fall, and subsequent shattering, the inability to put him together again is representative of this principle, as it would be highly unlikely, though not impossible, to return him to his earlier state of lower entropy, as the entropy of an isolated system never decreases.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Humpty_Dumpty#In_science<\/a><\/p>\n
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dragonmarks<\/b>
April 28, 2014<\/i>

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Free market principles<\/b>
May 3, 2014<\/i>

The littleun is ‘fixing’ a car I’m ‘driving’ that broke. He fixed it and asked for payment.<\/p>\n

I asked “how much?” and the answer was “five”.<\/p>\n

We settled for “three”. Never too soon to teach free market principles.<\/p>\n

We’ll use the proceeds to build a charity ward \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
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Hush now<\/b>
May 8, 2014<\/i>\n

I asked the littleun to use his “inside voice”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And he did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Apparently he thought he was inside a lumber mill \ud83d\ude1b<\/p>\n
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Handy to have around<\/b>
May 11, 2014<\/i>

I was driving about this weekend and casually reached over for something with my right hand.<\/p>\n

“BOTH HANDS, gwumpa, USE BOTH HANDS “, piped a command from the back seat.<\/p>\n

We’re in good hands, folks.<\/p>\n
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Shhh, listen.<\/b>
May 24, 2014<\/i>

I think one of the best gifts to give our children is the appreciation and love of silence.<\/p>\n

Not muffled suppression using earmuffs, but the lack of manufactured man-made messages like radio, music, or television.<\/p>\n

Some of God’s best messages are given in the small, still places between the walls of sound we’ve become comfortable dwelling inside.<\/p>\n
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Nom nom slurp nom giggle<\/b>
May 24, 2014<\/i>

Watching the grandboy devour cold spaghetti, I marvel at the child’s creativity and sheer determination.<\/p>\n

Those noodles are pretty wiggly, as is he… \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
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Makin stuff<\/b>
May 26, 2014<\/i>

Working on a project for the grandboy.<\/p>\n

He saunters over, interested in the goings-on. “Wat YOO MAKIN’?” he says\/shouts in his husky morning voice.<\/p>\n

Then he spots the spilled glue. “OH. YOU makin’ a MESS”.<\/p>\n

Then walks away.<\/p>\n

O that peanut gallery<\/p>\n
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Logs of Lincoln<\/b>
May 29, 2014<\/i>

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Little Helper helps little<\/b>
June 28, 2014<\/i>

i love my grandboy, but the more he helps the less we get done.<\/p>\n

Well, good news is that he’s learning how to use a vacuum cleaner \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n
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Decade dance<\/b>
June 29, 2014<\/i>

What a difference a decade makes.<\/p>\n

I’m sharing this thought with my friends using a touchscreen tablet on a broadband connection as my grandson and I are chillin’ to EDM on internet radio station.<\/p>\n

And earlier I’d woken up having dreamt of colleagues with whom I’d worked with when I was overseas.<\/p>\n

Ten years ago none of this was part of my life.<\/p>\n

What’s in store between now and 2024?<\/p>\n
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Little pitchers, big ears<\/b>
July 8, 2014<\/i>

Good to see that someone’s listening. My grandson just chastised me for opening the refrigerator door.<\/p>\n

“Costs money, gwumpa. COSTS MONEY”<\/p>\n
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Smell the tree<\/b>
August 9, 2014<\/i>

“Smell the tree”<\/p>\n

Seems like a rather silly request.<\/p>\n

But I want the littleun to remember the scent of trees and grass and outdoor woody things, before the growing-up starts and smelling trees seems like a silly thing to do.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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School daze<\/b>
August 12, 2014<\/i>

…and so it begins…<\/p>\n

Momma, to the grandboy, “Go to sleep nice now because you’re going to have a great day in school tomorrow.”<\/p>\n

Grandboy, after giving this a good think, “But I already went to school. I went today.”<\/p>\n

Good luck, momma<\/p>\n
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We ALL scream<\/b>
August 18, 2014<\/i>

…the grandson just started hollering just now. Seems he got some ice cream in his eye.<\/p>\n

My response? “Of course they call it EYE SCREAM because he SCREAMS when you put it in his EYE.”<\/p>\n

I was thinking of this before the explanation came from my daughter’s mouth.<\/p>\n

Bad Dad Joke Power to the rescue.<\/p>\n
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…from little acorns grow<\/b>
August 31, 2014<\/i>

I have just been reminded of how tiny the grandboy is.<\/p>\n

I asked him to share the malted milk ball treats he was holding and he gave me an entire handful.<\/p>\n

There were three of them in this handful.<\/p>\n
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Friendly fire<\/b>
September 11, 2014<\/i>

Even the best intentions go awry.<\/p>\n

I was walking with the grandboy in the neighbourhood and we were discussing what was ok to “shoot” with his pretend handgun (a literal gun made with his pointy finger) and what wasn’t.<\/p>\n

Squirrels, trees, parked cars, random bugs and fence posts, ok.<\/p>\n

People, moving vehicles, dogs, not ok.<\/p>\n

If we’re being attacked then yes, the attacker is fair game, regardless of everything else. But first we establish the level of friendliness by saying “hi” first.<\/p>\n

So of course on the walk one of the daily exercisers and we cross paths.<\/p>\n

“Hi” I said, as we would normally do. He waves and smiles and says “Hi” with a special one for the grandboy.<\/p>\n

I look down, expecting a big wave and response.<\/p>\n

The grandboy delivers but adds an unsurprising surprise:<\/p>\n

“Hi! I’m not gonna shoot you.”<\/p>\n

The subtleties of human interaction are yet to be picked up \ud83d\ude1b<\/p>\n
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@home<\/b>
September 23, 2014<\/i>

I’m working from home today and have an interesting peek of a normal day in the household.\u00a0 My grandson just came in through the doggie door.<\/p>\n
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The teasing song<\/b>
September 23, 2014<\/i>

…ok, so speaking of memes, it appears that the songsong phrase, “na, na-nee boo-boo” has been rattling around all over the world in slightly different variations and across generations.<\/p>\n

I swear i didn’t teach that to my kids. Now the grandboy is tossing it around http:\/\/forum.wordreference.com\/showthread.php?t=187747<\/a><\/p>\n
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Berry funny gwumpa<\/b>
October 11, 2014<\/i>

Gwampa wot’s daaaat? Wot’s dat ting?<\/p>\n

Nooo haha your phone is in your hand you silly THAT’S a phone<\/p>\n

I don’ know what that’s ting inna picture<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Nothing a little charge won’t fix<\/b>
October 11, 2014<\/i>

Dishwasher stopped working. Grandboy asked what was wrong with it and I said the power’s not going to it for some reason.<\/p>\n

“See? No lights. No power.”<\/p>\n

“Ah gwampa no power it no working. It’s dead.”<\/p>\n

“Yep”<\/p>\n

“You gotta charge it, gwampa. Get the batteries charged, then it’s working again! Plug it in gwampa plug it in ok?”<\/p>\n
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Nonap<\/b>
October 11, 2014<\/i>

Ok, so THIS happened during a “nap”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Way out<\/b>
October 11, 2014<\/i>

Ah. It seems my grandson doesn’t just exit a slide in the play area as much as he propels himself out with all the gusto of a fired-up paratrooper… and follows up with karate parkour moves<\/p>\n
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Tell me a secret from over there, please<\/b>
October 11, 2014<\/i>

With this kid, even a whisper is deafening. Seriously, don’t ask him to tell you a secret.<\/p>\n

Loud and slobbery, like a goofy dog or a bad date<\/p>\n
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Gwumpas jumpin onna truck<\/b>
October 12, 2014<\/i>

Last grand-story for today, I promise<\/p>\n

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We were having a typical discussion yesterday while washing the truck in the driveway. I casually mentioned I was going to climb on top of the truck and would jump off, and was met with instant concern:<\/p>\n

He: “NO GWUMPA no climbing onna truck. You fall down and and and bonk yer head.”<\/p>\n

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Me: “…and then momma calls the doctor…?”<\/p>\n

He: “YAH and momma call the doctor and and the doctor, the doctor said..”<\/p>\n

Me (singing triumphantly, having set up the joke): “…no more monkeys jump…”<\/p>\n

He: “NO NO GWUMPA doctor said, ‘No more gwumpas jumping onna twuck'”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
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Weapons of mad distraction<\/b>
October 16, 2014<\/i>

I’m filling up the truck at a local shop and am reminded of an encounter with the attendant at the register.<\/p>\n

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My grandson and I had gone in to get snacks and drink and of course the boy zeroes in on the bags of sweets…<\/p>\n

“Chocolate. I want chocolate, pleeeeez”, sweetly he says as he points to the treasure assortment right at toddler arm level.<\/p>\n

“No, not now. We’re here for other snacks. Chocolate is too messy on a hot day and you just got that clean shirt on. ”<\/p>\n

“Pleeeeze” \u263a Again the cuteness.<\/p>\n

The attendant, trying to be helpful: “We don’ sell chocolate. No chocolate here. No can get”<\/p>\n

The boy and I look at the lunkhead with probably the same expressions on our faces…<\/p>\n

The boy: “But. This. Chocolate.”<\/p>\n

Attendant: “No. not chocolate”<\/p>\n

And suddenly I can see how chocolate and WMD can become the same thing, in the right situation…<\/p>\n
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Cephalopod molluscs in disguise<\/b>
October 19, 2014<\/i>

I wonder how long it’ll take my grandson to realise that I call that one guy “Octopus Prime” on purpose.<\/p>\n

He keeps gently correcting me like I’m soft in the head \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
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Shop titles<\/b>
November 14, 2014<\/i>

Mamasan made some signs for grandboysan to use when he’s playing with his cars. Now they have places to go!<\/p>\n

He did the coloring bits of course <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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The toilet song<\/b>
November 23, 2014<\/i>

The grandboy is singing at the top of his lungs while sitting on the toilet.<\/p>\n

One of these days I’ll work up the guts to do this at work<\/p>\n
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Gwumpa rep: +3 bonus<\/b>
November 23, 2014<\/i>

YES! The phrase “Gwampa don’t eat my cars and don’t sleep on them, ok? Ok?” has just easily rolled off the grandboy’s lips.<\/p>\n

I have worked very hard to establish my reputation here in the household \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n
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Simba the Great<\/b>
November 23, 2014<\/i>

…and this is the pose of a Stuffed Lion who has seen Great Love by a Little Boy. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Not quite Pooh, but Close Relative<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Art class for today<\/b>
December 6, 2014<\/i>

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Robots in de skies<\/b>
December 6, 2014<\/i>

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Action drawings<\/b>
December 7, 2014<\/i>

Looking at a child’s scribbles is sometimes like looking at a 2-dimensional snapshot of a 4th-dimensional scene recorded over a span of time. In many cases, you aren’t seeing a static image but an entire story, from start to finish, in one frame. Gives you a different perspective on a child’s drawings if you think of it this way.<\/p>\n

I was witness to the birth of these as the artist narrated what was going on…<\/p>\n

The upper left-corner image is his family members going for a walk and then going into the family race car for a drive (every family has a family race car, right?)<\/p>\n

The upper right corner image is a motorcycle going around a race track with increasing speed.<\/p>\n

The bottom image is a man who is being chased by lava and isn’t very happy about it because it eventually catches up to him and gets him.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Falling can hurt<\/b>
December 11, 2014<\/i>

Grandboy: “Gwumpa gwumpa come quickly come quickly they’re falling they’re falling hurry come look!!”<\/p>\n

Me: “They’re falling? Where? Are they falling in love?”<\/p>\n

Grandboy: “No they’re falling into the crocodiles :-[ ”<\/p>\n

Me: “Oh well that’s kind of the same thing then. Let’s see what we can do.”<\/p>\n
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Accountability and responsibility<\/b>
December 20, 2014<\/i>

Two of the most influential questions to ask littleuns as they start figuring out the basics of cause & effect:<\/p>\n

1. Who did this?<\/p>\n

2. How are you going to fix this?<\/p>\n

I’ve found this helps teach fundamental concepts that need to stick with them as they grow up – accountability and responsibility.<\/p>\n

As they answer the questions, they come to realise that they own the problem, and they have to figure out how to recover from their mistakes.<\/p>\n

If done gently they will learn that making mistakes isn’t the end of the world, and that will lead to more honesty as they trust your reactions.<\/p>\n

This comes not from doing it right as a parent, but from my mistakes I’ve made as a parent!<\/p>\n
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More snowmens<\/b>
December 24, 2014<\/i>

Sad snowman on the left, happy snowman on the right<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Snowmens<\/b>
December 24, 2014<\/i>

Mean snowman on top (he has claws and is laughing), scared snowman on bottom (he’s covering his eyes with his hands)<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Imitation. The sincerest form of flattery<\/b>
January 10, 2015<\/i>

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Grow, grow strong, little one<\/b>
January 10, 2015<\/i>

The neighbour provides for good Saturday morning entertainment and education.<\/p>\n

He has a tangerine tree in the back yard and for the last two winters has been donating a bag or two of the fruit to our household.<\/p>\n

Grandboy and I are eating some, and picking out the seeds. Therein starts a vital lesson in survivalist theory: How To Grow Food From Seed.<\/p>\n

The littleun drops our bowl of seeds on the ground and laments the fact that they’ve gotten dirty.<\/p>\n

“That’s ok”, I said, “they’re going into the dirt anyways”.<\/p>\n

“Ooooohhh I get it, haha they’ll be all dirty” was the reply.<\/p>\n

So he pokes his skinny little kid finger in a planter I’m using to keep LAST year’s seedlings alive and pops the seeds in there, covers them up and we water them.<\/p>\n

And then sits there for a few minutes encouraging them to grow. These sounds can be heard from the kitchen while I’m tidying things up:<\/p>\n

“Go little seed grow grow!”<\/p>\n

“C’mon you can do it”<\/p>\n

“Gwampa why they not grow? Are they sick?”<\/p>\n

The concept of “A Long Time” is yet to be learned \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
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O noes!<\/b>
January 13, 2015<\/i>

One crayon up the nose of a rambunctious lad leads to a right bloody mess, a frightened school admin, and a confused grandpa.<\/p>\n

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And of course a furious\/deathly afraid momma who is an unwilling student in learning about the body’s adrenaline system.<\/div>\n
Thankfully everyone’s survived today’s fun with noses and crayons<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Art cars<\/b>
February 1, 2015<\/i>

A younger, more stuffier version of me would have bristled at the thought of a child coating paint on perfectly good toys.<\/p>\n

A more experienced, more introspective me sees the value in fine motor skills, self-expression and sense of accomplishment the lad is developing here.<\/p>\n

Thank goodness his momma didn’t pick up ALL of her parenting examples from me when she was a youngun <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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That old, cold, coffee<\/b>
February 7, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy, while helping me do dishes:<\/p>\n

“Gwumpa I NEVER drink old coffee (as he watches me dump out my thermos) blaughhh. You know why? You know why gwumpa? You know?”<\/p>\n

“No, why is that?”<\/p>\n

“Because I drink old coffee I’ll be old like you gwumpa I’ll be oooolllld”<\/p>\n

“He he yep you’ll turn old all right.”<\/p>\n

“Yah and den, and den I turn into a zombie and attack everyone and attack momma and she’ll get mad.”<\/p>\n

“Yep better stay away from that old coffee then…”<\/p>\n
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So this is how Stonehenge got started<\/b>
February 8, 2015<\/i>

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Little Management<\/b>
February 11, 2015<\/i>

Mamasan is working tonight so it’s me tucking in the grandboy:<\/p>\n

“Ummm gwumpa I’m thirsty.”<\/p>\n

“OK. You are thirsty.” (See comment below)<\/p>\n

“May I have some water, gwumpa? You get it for me? That would be great.”<\/p>\n

I see a future of middle management ahead of this kid…<\/p>\n

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We’re in the process of acknowledging his needs but making him explicitly ask for assistance instead of hinting around.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>
Clears up future misunderstandings and will probably help him get that raise or bonus when he’s out in the working world.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span>
If you don’t ask, you don’t get…!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
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Help me, momma, help, help me, momma<\/b>
February 15, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy, trying to type his name into a computer game:<\/p>\n

“Mom mom I need to put something in here what help me mom heeeelp”<\/p>\n

“Hey put your name in there. You know how to spell your name. How do you spell your name?”<\/p>\n

“With help. Help me mommmma”<\/p>\n
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Timeout for dinosaurs<\/b>
February 16, 2015<\/i>

Here are all the dinosaurs in Dr Grandboy’s recovery room. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

They were put in there after the swift arm of Officer Grandboy swept in to stop them from eating all the city’s buildings and cars.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Judge Grandboy ordered them to apologise to the city once they recovered from their wounds<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Custom paint jobs<\/b>
February 19, 2015<\/i>

He’s moving up to bigger and more complex paint jobs… I’ll put in an order for my truck soon<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Tricky treat<\/b>
February 25, 2015<\/i>

I don’t know yet if I’m the worst or best gpa ever.<\/p>\n

The grandboy wanted fruit snacks, so I had him go into the utility room (with the light on), close the door and go “trick or treating” for them…<\/p>\n
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Another set of adventures in the making<\/b>
February 26, 2015<\/i>

Here’s a new face and a whole new set of adventures!<\/p>\n

Watch this space \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n

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So, so Grimm<\/b>
February 26, 2015<\/i>

I don’t think Grimm’s Fairy Tales were necessarily written to entertain little children, but I think they may have been written BY them…<\/p>\n

The grandboy and I were having a safety discussion after I found he’d unlocked and opened the front door.<\/p>\n

This was our debriefing: “Ok now why do you never unlock and open the front door?”<\/p>\n

Him: “[Excitedly] Because then the bad mommas come in to the house and and and they eat everyone [sadface] and my momma will be sad.”<\/p>\n

Ok, not quite the answer I was looking for but it’ll do, for now ;p<\/p>\n
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Breakfast of superheroes and chompions<\/b>
March 6, 2015<\/i>

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Those pesky closing-things<\/b>
March 7, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy, giving me the reasons why he’s not napping:<\/p>\n

“Well, I’m I’m see look I’m (waving hands) not sleeping, see?”<\/p>\n

“Yes I noticed that. Why not?”<\/p>\n

“It’s well, well I’m not not see (waving hands again), look!” (He points to his eyelids)<\/p>\n

“These closing-things, they are stuck open and I can’t close them so that’s why I’m not sleeping (notices the dog) and puppy’s not sleeping and YOU not sleeping and momma’s not sleeping so i can come out now please?<\/p>\n
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Pup the protector (sometimes)<\/b>
March 7, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy, trying to convince me to let the family dog sleep with him:<\/p>\n

“Gwumpa, i neeeed puppy in here.”<\/p>\n

“O? Why do you neeeeed him in here?”<\/p>\n

“Look.” (he picks up his (currently) fav toy, a “Jake pirate” doll from “Jake and the Neverland Pirates” cartoon series) “look see? Him not alive.” (picks up the doll, stands it up and it falls over)<\/p>\n

“See he can’t stand up. Can’t protect me when bad guys come in the window and take me. Hmph” (crosses arms)<\/p>\n

“Him him him not alive i neeeed puppy.”<\/p>\n

“Ok. Let’s go see if puppy wants to come in and sleep in here.”<\/p>\n

Sad to say the pup wasn’t having any of this. He was cozy on the couch, and chose to pretend neither of us were calling and shouting his name, even when young master was standing in front of him.<\/p>\n

I promised the youngun I’d pop in now and again to make sure no bad guys had stolen him.<\/p>\n
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Reeeeead to meeee<\/b>
March 8, 2015<\/i>

Mamasan’s been working nights, so I’ve had a number of babysitting nights recently… here’s another gwumpa story \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n

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We’re sitting in the bedroom, finishing up a 2nd nighttime book and the grandboy requests another.<\/p>\n

“No sir, we’ve read the two you picked out and it’s time for prayers and sleep now…”<\/p>\n

“But gwumpaaaaaa” (as he puts away the books)<\/p>\n

He pulls out another fav, a dinosaur book and blinks big eyes at me.<\/p>\n

“No sir, but you can read it on your own after we finish. You can read after bedtime.”<\/p>\n

“But gwumpa, i don’t even know these things’ names.<\/p>\n

Look. This bird. (he points to a dinosaur)<\/p>\n

This tree. (He points to dinosaur eggs)<\/p>\n

This race car. (He points to a stream).<\/p>\n

See? You have to reeead them to me.”<\/p>\n

Hm, i think, this is obviously a ploy to stay up later, so we close out the night with a firm but gentle end to the story negotiation.<\/p>\n

Then later, when I peek in on him, I find…<\/p>\n

the boy on his bed, finger-tracing the words in that book, pretend-reading it out loud.<\/p>\n

And he even nailed every dinosaur, egg, and stream in there.<\/p>\n

He just wanted his friend-gwumpa to read with him.<\/p>\n

He got extra hugs and kisses after that.<\/p>\n
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No no push the button while he’s in the ai… ah! try again.<\/b>
March 12, 2015<\/i>

If for no other reason, i shall always be remembered by the grandboy as the one who taught him how to double-jump.<\/p>\n

Now that’s not such a bad thing \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n
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Cheesy but true<\/b>
March 12, 2015<\/i>

Sometimes it’s all in the presentation.<\/p>\n

Grandboy was hangry. I offered him a couple of slices of ham and a piece of cheese.<\/p>\n

“Ugh, nooooo gwumpa i no want that”<\/p>\n

Ok.<\/p>\n

I took two pieces of bread and put the same ham and cheese inside them.<\/p>\n

“OOO yah that’s what I WANT!”<\/p>\n
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Soothes the savage beastie<\/b>
March 21, 2015<\/i>

Mamasan wants littleun to have some music to sleep to and requested a classical music collection to help stimulate his brain as he settles himself in and falls asleep.<\/p>\n

I think it’s a good idea as I’ve done that myself.\u00a0 So we have a little mp3 player with auto shutoff and a couple of hours of randomized selections.<\/p>\n

Tonight, littleun has a request, since mamasan’s working.<\/p>\n

“Gwumpa.” (Sad face) “gwumpa I want sad music because I miss momma and sad music is in my heart…”<\/p>\n

So no John Williams tonight \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
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You don’t want to make me sadangry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m sadangry.<\/b>
March 24, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy has perfected the simultaneous sadangry face.<\/p>\n

He can look like pretty much any character off of the “Thomas the Tank Engine” show when the mood strikes.<\/p>\n

I’d snap a pic but depending on the situation, it would either<\/p>\n

1) make him angrier or<\/p>\n

2) make him smile, since smiling is what you do when a photo is being taken<\/p>\n
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Heads’ up<\/b>
March 27, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy is able to take off his t shirt completely by pulling it down all the way past his shoulders and hips.<\/p>\n

One of the advantages of still having a head wider than both areas \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
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The Fall of the Fast<\/b>
March 28, 2015<\/i>

Me, gently teasing the grandboy after he decided to race me (while I was walking) and did a chest-plant on the grass:<\/p>\n

“Hey boy, why you fallin down like that? What are you doin down there?”<\/p>\n

Littleun, in true form: “Ha gwumpa I fall because I run fast. You can’t fall down because you swooooow”<\/p>\n

And then, the final victory dance: “Na nanny boo-boo…”<\/p>\n
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Likky-tikki-tavi<\/b>
March 29, 2015<\/i>

“No, don’t lick people. It’s not polite to lick people.”<\/p>\n

To whom am I am speaking?<\/p>\n

1. A prime minister or elected official<\/p>\n

2. My neighbor’s dog<\/p>\n

3. My 4-yr old grandson<\/p>\n
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Lather, rinse, repeat<\/b>
April 3, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy has been in the “repeat what I say mode” – meaning that he keeps saying the same thing over and over until you repeat the last few words he’s said.<\/p>\n

And now he’s combining this with his “question mode”.<\/p>\n

“Gwumpa, gwumpa look I put a towel on my head! Look, i put a towel on my head. Gwumpa a towel on my head. GWUMPA”<\/p>\n

Me: “O look, a towel is on your head.”<\/p>\n

“Why gwumpa? Why towel on my head? WHY? Why towel on my head?”<\/p>\n

Me: “I don’t know, why is a towel on your head?”<\/p>\n

“HAHA” (and runs away)<\/p>\n

Now I’ll never know why the towel was on his head. I suspect he was just trolling me.<\/p>\n
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Sometimes gwumpas build things.<\/b>
April 3, 2015<\/i>

Sometimes gwumpas\u00a0build things.<\/p>\n

After the last couple of winters devastated the garden area out back (sorry, Mom!) I decided to spend a couple of days and hard labor into something my grandkids can enjoy.<\/p>\n

And yes, I’ll move the slide and give the relaxation station a go when the mood strikes \ud83d\ude1b<\/p>\n

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Jump-starting the morning along<\/b>
April 4, 2015<\/i>

At 6:28 on a holiday weekend morning, the only thing that grandboy should be TRANSFORRRRRMING into is a quiet, sleeping child… :p<\/p>\n
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Space invaders<\/b>
April 4, 2015<\/i>

Blew the grandboy’s mind today.<\/p>\n

He was pretending to be flying in his space craft and landed on a planet. Announced that he’s landed safely.<\/p>\n

I asked him how he feels being a space alien.<\/p>\n

He replies, “No gwumpa I not alien. I’m exploring in space.”<\/p>\n

To which I respond, “I know you’re exploring. But you aren’t on your home planet any more.<\/p>\n

You’re on someone else’s planet and came from space. So you are now a space alien.”<\/p>\n

So he thinks.<\/p>\n

And thinks some more.<\/p>\n

And does the arm-waving, eye-rolling, walking weirdly thing…”woooogh I’mmmmm aaaa spaaaaacccccee aiiiilieeeeennnn”<\/p>\n

Labels do funny things to the human psyche \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
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Consumer say “No”<\/b>
April 5, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy’s started a game whereby he asks us for a choice (“which one do you want, the green one or the big one?”) and after we choose, he pulls this answer out: “Sorry, it’s broken (out of power, someone else is using it, etc)<\/p>\n

This means we are expected to choose another one. And another one. And…<\/p>\n

Rather than encourage this “computer say ‘no'” mentality I turn this around to give him ownership of the issue.<\/p>\n

“I’d like the one I chose.”<\/p>\n

“But gwumpa it’s bwoken…”<\/p>\n

“I know, you said that. But you also offered it. How are you going to fix it?”<\/p>\n

The reports of broken equipment have been slowing down and productivity is up. Huh.<\/p>\n
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Muddy footpimps not welcome here<\/b>
April 11, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy has declared it is imporant not to let muddy footpimps in the house. I most heartily agree<\/p>\n
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Kids these days<\/b>
April 11, 2015<\/i>

I’m reading to the grandboy before his nap.<\/p>\n

He picks up a toy mobile phone and starts talking: “Ok hold on; I’m reading a story with gwumpa, I’ll call you back later.”<\/p>\n

I suppress a giggle and continue to read.\u00a0 He starts pushing buttons on the phone.<\/p>\n

“Hey,” I stop, “are you listening to the story or playing?!?”<\/p>\n

“GWUMPA”, comes the reply, “I’m TEXTING my MOM”<\/p>\n
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We built this city on block & roll<\/b>
April 11, 2015<\/i>

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The grandboy and I are building a city before bedtime.<\/p>\n

“Why you can build this?” he asks as we build structures.<\/p>\n

I ponder the question. \u00a0Why indeed? \u00a0We build cities to house our people, to show how grand we are, to leave something behind that shows we were here once and made a difference.<\/p>\n

I start to answer, but slowly, as I can’t think of a way to share this with him in a way he can understand. \u00a0But I’m cut off.<\/p>\n

“O gwumpa I know! You can build this because you got the blocks!”<\/p>\n

Ah the age-old reason. \u00a0Because it’s there.<\/p>\n

\"WP_20150411_19_57_17_Pro\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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Oh and here’s the video you’ll be thinking of for a while after reading this post:<\/p>\n

[youtube\u00a0https:\/\/youtu.be\/K1b8AhIsSYQ]<\/p>\n
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Swift justice<\/b>
April 11, 2015<\/i>

The grandboy decided all of his army men had defected and deserved a suitable punishment.<\/p>\n

So all of his toy cars were sent out to eat them.<\/p>\n

His mother blamed me for his frame of mind and style of justice.<\/p>\n

\"WP_20150411_21_21_17_Pro\"<\/a><\/p>\n
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Oops<\/b>
April 13, 2015<\/i>

Only a child can accidentally somersault off the bed and end up laughing about it<\/p>\n
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Uptown funkyup<\/b>
April 16, 2015<\/i>

Ok, so I guess life is good when you break into a Bruno Mars song & dance routine.\u00a0\u00a0 Go grandboy
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